Quest for Knowledge

Lately I have been so interested in the LDS church and the teachings of it. Yes I am LDS and yes I have been raised LDS but I want to know more.

I was raised next door to a girl whose parents allowed her to visit or join any church she wanted. (I have seen her baptized 3 times.) She wanted to grow up and be a preacher. (I think she is going to school to be a chemist.) We spent all of our time together. My mom was very open and understanding to my interest in these churches too. I have visited and been taught a lot of different churches/religions. I have always been intrigues but have never had the desire to be baptized into another church. I have always found it educational and sometimes spiritual. I once went to a Baptist revival where the preacher was sweating and bouncing around. I remember only being 10 but trying my hardest to listen for things that were the same as my church that I could be enlightened by. I chose not to go to the next revival. I also went to a big church (I think was nondenominational) and I had to walk out because I knew I didn't feel right. It was not a good feeling. I cried as I walked home because I didn't understand the feeling and I was scared.

I have spent years since just living the way I should. Learning and doing what is taught at church but never pursuing the history and the stories in the scriptures on a personal level.

I am doing that now. I have my manuals and pencils and am enjoying my study time. Let's be honest...there are things about the church that are not exactly focused on in church. Ex: the practice of polygamy and the priesthood for the blacks.

Have I been afraid to learn these things because I thought they would shake my faith? This is a question I have been asking myself for the last few days. My friend Jennie is really good at getting me to think about things outside the box and I think it was she that got me set on this recent quest for knowledge.