Very Disappointed...

Can you call this baby fat? Starting Weight - 135 8 wk - 136 12 wk - 143 16 wk - 145 20 wk - 151 23 wk - 155 26 wk - 157 28 wk - 160 31 wk - 164 34 wk - 170 36 wk - 177 ok this is getting a little out of hand! I was hoping to stay under 165 this time!!! UGH! So I went to the dr for a check up today. I am still not dialated but 50% effaced. Baby hasn't dropped. I do have a hernea in my belly button. weird. My morning sickness is back and I'm SO tired. I think I could sleep all day long. But...that's not really an option. I hope this is just a bad day and not a sign of weeks to come.

36 Weeks Pregnant

Hooray! I made it to 36 weeks! Time really flies because I don't know the sex of the baby. Then I don't think about the baby as much. Also...the kids really keep me busy. Phoenix - preschool, little mommy, recent bed wetting, Diego addict, cheese stick please, sweet kisses, negotiator, helper, nurturer, everything in its place Atticus - friends please, picky eater, night terrors, little tease, sward fights, fruck (truck), celow (cereal), loves naps, fussy fussy, I DO IT! Brandon - Just got a calling as the Elders Quorum teacher, tired of school but the semester ends on May 4, busy time at work is over, helping out a lot around the house when he can, chocoholic, tired, tired, tired. Me - 36 weeks, tired from getting up so much at night, sore from gaining all this weight...and still gaining, running out of clothes to wear, want to nest, busy with helping out in the preschool, can't eat enough fruit and drink enough water. I have been trying to keep busy so that I won't get ancy in the end of the pregnancy and it really helps. It also helps to hear other girls complain because I don't want to sound like that. It's nice to know that I really don't hurt that badly and that it could be a lot worse. Gives me encouragement. It's really funny the things people say to me lately. Wow You're getting big! You look tired. The baby looks low, I bet that hurts. Yeah...I'd rather not hear those things. Even when people ask me how I'm doing I try to say that I'm good because there's no point in complaining. Oh yeah. Jennifer Ritchie took photos of me last week! I'll get them on here as soon as I can. They are SO cute!

Email to Brandon

Hello my love. It's almost 5 and I'm just getting home! I went to preschool with Nix because someone was sick. I sent Atti to Jans with Janna who was at walmart. I thought he would have a problem going with her because she didn't have any kids with her but he was fine. He was doing his happy kick as soon as I got him buckled into the car. When we got to school Phoenix kept telling me to leave because it's HER preschool not mine. She seemed like she wanted to show her independance. It was weird because I noticed that she kept putting her hands in her pants and then I realized that she dressed herself and she wasn't wearing undies! hahaha. Anyways...we then went to Jans to get Atti Boy. Jan said that he did well. Probably because there were Janna's, Lacey's, and Anika's kids there! I aslo had Atti nap at 10am so he got an hour or so before he went. Then on the way home we went to A&W/KFC for Lunch/Dinner. We got their popcorn chicken...YUCK! I should have returned it! The kids wouldn't even touch it. Anyways so here we are. At home watching old cartoons that your parents used to wants. (Little Lulu) I just wanted to let you know what we've been up to. I hate Mon and Wed when I don't get to talk to you all day till 8:30. Maybe I'll sneak and watch an episode of PSYCH to make myself feel better! I love you!!

Funny Phoenix

Phoenix always asks me if I want to see

the food go down her "asparagus".

Crazy Days

My kids have been at eachothers throats lately. They are definately suffering from spring fever and it doesn't help that I can't get off the couch. :( It is so hard to see them fighting with eachother and with me. I tried to get us and do more today but now I'm not feeling to great. So...if anyone wants to come rescue my kids and take them to the park you are welcome! I took these pictures because I was washing my hands in the bathroom and saw Atti rubbing Nix's hair and back in the mirror. I had to grab the camera and capture such a cute moment. Later I put in "Mega Mind" and as we all 3 cuddled on the couch Atti reached over and help Nix's hand. I don't want to forget moments like that.

Update on Danie

This is a Facebook message from Jeremy (Danie's Husband) Please give lots of prayers for Danie. Her blood isn't clotting right, they had to give her a Vitamin K shot and still need to do a plasma transfusion. If they can't get her to clot, she can't get the drain tubes put in. She's not out of the water yet...

St Patty's Day and Seattle Weekend

I made these cute cupcakes and brought them to Brandon's work. YUM YUM!!

Last weekend we decided to get away and go to Seattle to visit family. We had such a great time. I love seeing Brandon's parents with the kids. The kids just love their Gammy and Gampy. We were able to check out Harvey's new machine shop which was nice. I love seeing how happy he is now that he is a business owner. Even with all of the things that he has to do and all of the things that go wrong he's still happy. We were going to go to the zoo but because Atti had earaches and Nix had croup last week we decided it was too cold. We went to Subway (yay!) and home for a nap instead. In the evening we left the kids with the grandparents and went out with our great friends, Christina and Conrad Ayoso. We went to the Cheesecake Factory! YUM! I had a Salmon Salad and Mango Key lime Cheesecake and Brandon had Jambalaya and Chocolate Reces Cheesecake. (We didn't have breakfast the next day!) We got there at 7pm and at 11 we were still jabbering away. We met the Ayosos when we first got married because they liven in our apartment complex. They are a little older then us and had a 2 year old but we became great friends! I think that visiting with them was the best part of the trip. On Saturday we went to the movies and say "Rango"... DO NOT SEE!!! It is so boring. Phoenix kept saying that she wanted to leave and see another movie! On Sunday we went to see Harvey's parents and had a pleasant surprise when a few of Brandon's cousins showed up. Brandon enjoyed catching up. I love visiting with Ella and Harold. I always say that I'm Ella's favorite! Soon the trip was over but before we left we took some of Brandon's old GI Joes and Star Wars toys with us. The kids LOVE them!! I have never seen them sit and play like they do with these toys. Brandon is so funny...he loves to play with the kids too. Sometimes he will just stare off in space reminiscing about the past or he'll tell storing about playing with those toys with Langston and Devon. It's cute!

Are you Beautiful?

BEAUTIFUL FOR ME Lyrics - click for youtube video Nichole Nordeman Every girl young and old has to face her own reflection Twirl around, stare it down What’s the mirror gonna say With some luck, you’ll measure up But you might not hold a candle to the rest “Is that your best?” says the mirror to the mess But there’s a whisper in the noise Can you hear a little voice and he says Has anybody told you you’re beautiful? You might agree if you could see what I see Oh ‘Cuz everything about you is incredible You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful for me If it’s true beauty lies in the eye of the beholder What my life and what’s inside to give him something to behold I want a heart that’s captivating I wanna hear my Father say Has anybody told you you’re beautiful? You might agree if you could see what I see Oh ‘Cuz everything about you is incredible You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful for me Close your eyes Look inside Let me see the you that you’ve been trying to hide Long ago, I made you so very beautiful So I ought to know you’re beautiful Has anybody told you you’re beautiful? You might agree if you could see what I see Yeah ‘Cuz everything about you is incredible You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful You’re so beautiful Beautiful for me So beautiful for me Has anybody told you? I guess this has been on my mind because I watched "War and Peace" with Audrey Hepburn. In the movie she was SO beautiful. Not because of her looks but because of her confidence and cheery ways. I hope that I can teach Phoenix that beauty is what is in your heart not your looks and your clothes. This is something that I have always struggled with until my mom taught me something. I remember going to her crying because I didn't have an amazing talent like art, music, athletics. It seemed that everyone who was anyone had these great talents to share and I was just awkward. She told me that my talent was my smile. That meant a lot to me. I know now that my beauty/talents come from my heart. Sweet Phoenix Girl, You are my beautiful baby girl. Ever since you came to us you have had a special talent....you have a healing heart, a heart of gold. From day one we noticed your nurturing spirit. Please remember your name and what it means. Remember that you are always beautiful as long as you have a pure heart. I hope you always nurture, give and love. Truly, Mother

Baby 3 Update

On Wednesday I went in for a routine checkup. The Dr said that I look like the baby has dropped so he checked me. He said that I was effaced but not dilated. He also said that I need to stay home, take it easy, and don't lift the kids. Semi-bedrest, right? Since he checked me I have been feeling really sore and having a lot of contractions. The ladies in the ward organized meals and help for me which we are so grateful for. Lastnight around 2am I woke up with a contraction. I started timing them and they were 8 min apart...then 7...then 6. I kept getting up and getting a drink and walking around a bit to see if they would go away. They didn't. I woke Brandon up and asked him to time them because I needed to relax and not think about it. They went to 10 min and then stopped after 2 hrs. This morning I was feeling HORRIBLE!! Sore! A friend told me that I should probably tell the Dr. I did and he said to go to the hospital. I got to the hospital and they checked me and hooked me up to the monitor. The baby was moving really well and I felt a lot of contractions but they didn't show up on the monitor. Nothing did. Aggravating. The dr later told me that they weren't contractions but cramping from the infection. The nurse said that I was 50% effaced and the baby is at a station -3 meaning the head is still was up. The cervix is soft but she said that's normal for 34 weeks. She said that I don't need to rest and everything is ok. Hm....who do I believe? What am I supposed to do? Take it easy? Do normal activity? I am frustrated. Mostly that the sisters in the ward are helping and I don't even know if I need the help. Later that day... Brandon called the Dr. to see what we're supposed to be doing. One minute it's bedrest and the next it's not. (The reason we're concerned is because if the baby is born early it has to be taken to Spokane 2 hrs away and I don't have any help. Basicaly I will have to stay here and go pick up the baby when it's ready to come home.) Here is what the Dr. said... Bedrest for the next 10 days till the infection is gone. Then at the next checkup if the infection is gone I can go back to normal 8 month pregnant activities.

Pizza Dough

This is a new staple recipe for us... Pizza dough 5c. white flour 2c. semolina flour (at Winco) 1T. salt 2pckg yeast 1T sugar 4T evoo 2 1/2c . warm water Put yeast sugar evoo and water together. Let set for like 5 min. mix in flours and salt. Knead and then let rise for 1 hr. You can then use or wrap portions in saran wrap and put in freezer. 425 for 12-15 min Here is a white sauce from a friend..YUM!!! 2 cups ranch 1/4 cup grated parmesan 1 tbs minced garlic

My sister's struggles

I can't remember if I posted anything about my sister's baby, Miya, who was born January 14 at 30ish weeks gestation. She was 4lb and 17 in. This is a letter from Danielle. Dear Family and Friends and Total Strangers, Baby Miya was born via emergency c-section due to large amounts of fluid in the abdomen. Even now, after several tests, her illness still remains an enigma. Her platelets keep dropping, and difficulty breathing due to pressure on the lungs becomes greater every day due to a steady increase in the volume of fluid that is building up. Her own mother cannot take her into her arms to hold, and baby cannot even have the warmth of mother's milk running down her throat. Instead, there's a picc in her veins that needs to be moved around every few days due to a vein collapsing, and tubes in her nose, and wires hooked up all around her to monitor her progress, or lack thereof. Please, pray for this sweet infant. Pray to our loving Heavenly Father, the Great God of Israel, who created us all in his image, and knew us even before we were born. Pray that Miya be healed quickly; that she grow up strong in body, mind, and spirit. Pray that she may be comforted in this affliction that she's been made to suffer through so early in life, and that her family, extended and immediate, be comforted as well as they suffer emotionally from the pains of having to watch such a sweet baby girl go through something like this so early in life, even before she was born did this illness begin. And most importantly, pray that the Lord's will be done. Always the Lord's will be done. Thanks you. Sincerely, Miya's mother. As of now the baby is growing and eating from a bottle but they still don't know where the fluid is coming from. Her platelets are stable and the fluid isn't increasing but slowly decreasing. Once she can eat better she can go home. Danielle on the other hand is not doing very well at all. Here is an email I got from my mom 2 days ago... Danielle's appendix ruptured sometime this week. She thought she had the flu and had to undergo extensive surgery to cleanse her abdominal area and have the bad appendix removed. I think we almost lost her. If you would like to give Danielle a quick call. She is quite groggy from the antibiotics and pain killers, but I'm sure she would enjoy hearing from you briefly. Love you all, Mother I guess she thought it was her ovary giving her problems from the tubes getting tied so she didn't worry about it. When she was throwing up and diarrhea she just thought it was the flu. Then she started sleeping nonstop and my mom went to check on her and took her to the ER. Thank goodness for Mom!!! Danielle is now having a hard time recovering and will spend another few days in the hospital. I guess today they opened the staples and a bunch of fluid came out. I am sad for my sister...she hasn't even seen her baby in a week even though they are in the hospital together.

Belly pic - 32 weeks

This is for Jessica. Here is me at 32 weeks...cute huh? I love the way I look this pregnancy but am nervous because lately all I want is sweets. I'm even craving pb&j for dinner!! Funny to think, the baby still has 4 or 5 lbs to gain!

just so you know

I don't like carrots. I just realized this. I love the crust of bread, especially in a grilled sandwich.

Kids Closet...Good Idea?

I make the kids a closet with activities. These are learning activities that I have to help with. Here are a few of them... play dough painting cutting and coloring coloring and preschool books activity books flash cards learning games alphabet blocks Sounds great, right? I am not so sure... For the last week I have been sitting with the kids doing these activities NON STOP!! I am tired and I wish they would play with their toys. Ugh. It would be nice to do one or two activities a day but one every half hour!!?? They seem to cry over these activities more then they did before them. Oh well...

Conversation with Nix

P - Mom, do I have big lips or small lips? Me - Um...I think you have normal lips. P - No Mom! Are they big or small? Me - I don't know, why Phoenix? P - Because I want big lips like these girls! Me - (I looked over to see that she was looking at the JCPenney catalog.) Phoenix, your lips are small because you are young. When you grow up you will have bigger lips like these girls. Why don't I give you something else to read? P - Ok. Is she already noticing what the public says is pretty? When she said that my heart sank. I realized that she will soon struggle with what's "pretty" and what is "not".

If you're ever feeling blue...

This post is about my biggest trial in life. I have been going through this ever since I can remember. One time I remember being 11 or 12 and I was curled up in a ball in the corner of my room (the blue room) and crying. I was in so much pain. My body hurt like I had just been hit by a truck and my heart felt like it was being ripped in two. I am talking about depression, the blues, anxiety, PMS, or just having a bad day...whatever you want to call it. This is a song that really hits home to me now. I picture Brandon singing it and wonder how he feels as he watches me go through my down times. ROB THOMAS - Her Diamonds Oh what the hell she says I just can't win for losing And she lays back down Man there's so many times I don't know what I'm doin' Like I don't know now By the light of the moon She rubs her eyes Says it's funny how the night Can make you blind I can just imagine And I don't know what I'm supposed to do But if she feels bad then I do too So I let her be And she says oooh I can't take no more Her tears like diamonds on the floor And her diamonds bring me down Cuz I can't help her now She's down in it She tried her best and now she can't win it's Hard to see them on the ground Her diamonds falling down She sits down and stares into the distance And it takes all night And I know I could break her concentration But it don't feel right By the light of the moon She rubs her eyes Sits down on the bed and starts to cry And there's something less about her And I don't know what I'm supposed to do So I sit down and I cry too And don't let her see And she says oooh I can't take no more Her tears like diamonds on the floor And her diamonds bring me down Cuz I can't help her now She's down in it She tried her best and now she can't win it's Hard to see them on the ground Her diamonds falling down She shuts out the night Tries to close her eyes If she can find daylight She'll be all right She'll be all right Just not tonight And she says oooh I can't take no more Her tears like diamonds on the floor And her diamonds bring me down Cuz I can't help her now She's down in it She tried her best and now she can't win it's Hard to see them on the ground Her diamonds falling down All this time I have spent so much time trying to get away from these feelings. I have been so afraid of these times because there is no foreshadowing. At times there is no straw to "break the camels back". When it hits...so does fear. I have been so afraid that it will never go away. I have felt like I was sinking. That I didn't deserve the world around me. Now...I am learning. I have been working on learning to grow WITH the hard times instead of running. Here are a few things that I have been doing and learning so that I can get through... I track my down times to see if there is a pattern. I keep Brandon aware of my feelings so that he can watch me. I realize that this may never go away but I can help others through it. I keep up with Personal Scripture study and prayer. If I feel it coming on I get out and do something. (hard but it helps) I try not to complain to others but to have positive conversation. (also hard) I hope that if anyone reads this who struggles that they'll take comfort in knowing that many women go through this. Also that they will try to grasp that this might never go away but there are ways to work through it. To Brandon, who is always here for me, Thank You! I know that I go through this every month and that it's hard for you to understand but I appreciate you. It comforts me to know that you're always there rubbing my back and handing me tissues. I love that you understand when I don't want to talk about it (again)but I just want you to hold me till it passes. Thank you for all of the long night...even though you have work the next day. I love you, I love you, I love you!

Atti Helping

Atti and Nix love to help me mop the floor. I love it too! It's fun to see them playing around in the pool of water on the floor!

WHAT IS THAT???

Ok...this is not a big deal.

REALLY not a big deal.

yes it is

I HAVE A GRAY HAIR!!!

I am 27...is that normal?

Brandon has them.

My sisters have them.

No big deal...

I think.

An Attitude of Gratitude

I am grateful for... in-laws who visit often, healthy children and husband, Brandon's job, naptime, the Gospel, our new car, our ward, the kids new beds from the inlaws, healthy pregnancies and deliveries, sunshine, Netflix, Phoenix's preschool teacher Mrs. Cheryl, Atti's red hair, the internet, woman's rights, police officers, oranges, my desire to always learn and grow, my brothers and sisters, the Priesthood and blessings, visiting and home teaching, revelation, faith, cheesecake, my camera, toilet paper, pennies on the sidewalk, Phoenix when she kisses my forehead when I'm tying her shoes, my belly band, my favorite recliner, coupons, gyros, wild flowers, fuzzy blankets, buying in bulk, hot baths, Brandon's smell mmm..., phone calls from my mom, my hairdryer, Dr. Schuler, puppies (that aren't mine), the neighbors vacuum, facebook, music, secret belly maternity pants, Discover Card who gives us 5% on online purchases, beauty marks, talents, good memories, prayer, smiles, BYUI, WSU, agency, Jan Walker, Burger King play place...

Ready for Kindergarten

Here in Othello the school district does a program called Ready for Kindergarten. It's a 1 1/2 hour class that I go to to get tools and Ideas to prepare each child for Kindergarten. I have to go to one session per child. There they go over where the child needs to be developmentally and gives tools/games to help. They also let me pick out a free book at the end. I went on Tuesday for nix and got letters and magnets for her game board, Build-A-Book, a drawing pad, crayons, a game where they do different actions and a wooden ABC puzzle. I realized that I need to be reading to the kids a little more each day (20 min) and that she needs to learn to share. I also need to work with her on prepositions. I am going to Atti's class tonight and am excited to see what he needs to be learning. Yesterday I went to walmart and got some bins for her new activities. These activities and games that we get I keep up so that they only play with them when I'm around to use it for a learning time. We have bin for coloring and cutting, painting, playdough, number and letter cards for her game board. I also got alphabet blocks. I organized all of the learning games so that we can do activities throughout the day. I am so excited about it!

Ouch!

My hip and back hurt!! Ouch!

What was I thinking having another baby!

Did I really forget what this feels like?

NO

I wanted my little sugar so badly that I wasn't thinking about anything but getting him/her here.

A friend of mine said that it's good that I'm hurting

or else I wouldn't have any incentive to push this watermelon out!

hahaha...